Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Did Muhammad Ali ask Dundee to cut his gloves off before Eddie Futch stopped the fight in Thrilla in Manila?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Scientists warn that polar warming might alter ocean currents and cause massive flooding in the U.S. - Earth.com

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I can read

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Can men and women be friends?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Was Jimmy Carter a good President of the United States?

I see through liars

I have a reading level above third grade

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

How do I confess to my crush who had a traumatic past with his previous partner without losing the friendship?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t cotton to rapists

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP